Monday 7 April 2008

It's over!

8pm GMT Combine seven hours of a ferry crossing with hangovers and about 4 hours sleep and a rough sea and you have the Hook of Holland to Harwich journey.We have finally made it back to Blighty unscathed. Only another 160 miles before home and we are all looking forward to crashing out. It's been a great trip and our vehicle has performed better than we could have expected it. We are already planning the theme for the next one. Anyone want to buy a Mystery Machine?


Highlights of the trip
Mac 'Winning the award for best theme'
Graeme 'Knowlesy's toilet explosion Munich'
Skinner 'Irish night out in Germany with everybody in fancy dress and literally taking the place over'
Matt 'Naturist Day in the back seat'
Mads 'Overhearing the organisers saying that our team had made the rally'
Lowlights
Graeme 'Enduring Munich to Prague journey with Skinner and Knowles'
Matt 'Map reading'
Mac 'Clamp man'
Skinner '1970s five choice truckstop menu in Prague'
Madeline 'Naked blogging'

Clamped!


11am
What can I say about Amsterdam? Funny cigarettes, Chips with mayonaise, and an
entertaining nightlife. Last night was great, hundreds of Coyotes crammed into a crazy bar.

5am Van is freezing as Skinner and Matt attempt the last night in the Mystery Machine. Matt lasts the distance but Skinner falls at the final hurdle and retires to the hotel room at 8am.

Spirits dampened somewhat the next day when we realise the Mystery Machine has
been wheel clamped! We misread the signs and thought parking was free after 6pm.
104 euros to remove but when the clamping people turn up they complain that we are rude and drive off.
Rude, us! To clampers with moustaches, never.
Anyway, long and short of it is that the clampers refuse to come back and, with just an hour before we have to start for the ferry home, half our party begin a dash across Amsterdam to pay the fine.

12.30am Fine paid, clamp removed and we head to the Hook of Holland to catch the
ferry home.

Sunday 6 April 2008

Almost there!

2pm Macca informs me that the heater in the front is NOT working and for all the time the back seat boys have been sweltering under blankets the driver has been freezing off his proverbials. Graeme demonstrates by breathing white mist and chattering his teeth. A small blanket was duly provided for his improved comfort.We are fed up of looking at sausages and large slabs of fried meats at the service stations so we are in search of more traditional German food at McDonalds.

2.20pm
5 plates of fisch and veal with kartofellen later (Graeme plumps for a salad) and we are all convinced the term Sauerkraut was invented because of the mood their motorway cafe food puts the Germans in.

5.40pm
We are about an hour from Amsterdam a big party is planned at one of the cafes and the Scooby, Shaggy, Fred, Wilma and Daphne costumes are being freshened up ready for their final outing. While everyone will be glad to get to the final destination I think everyone will also be a little sad to realise the journey is almost over.
Mac is back behind the wheel for the last few k and was itching at the bit to take over from Graeme for last hour.
The sun is out, the beers are cracked and life is good.
ps We have eaten 348 g of fat in crisps alone in the last four days.....nice. A tin of raw corned beef was also one of the highlights of the trip's haute cuisine eaten from the tin with a penknife.

Breakfast at Wiffany's

9am
Heading out of Czechoslovakia and the snow is falling heavily and temperatures are dropping inside the cabin, but unlike most Coyotes our heating works and we have plenty of sleeping bags and duvets in the back so it is like a luxury hotel room. (albeit a stinky one).
Breakfast is taken at a motorway services where we meet up with other Coyotes. Tales are spreading about one team of guys in a Fiesta who were pulled over for drinking at midday following the German Grosse Nacht Out! Arrested and fined 270 Euros by the cops.
Breakfast in Germany can be quite an experience one dish called a Knacker was ordered by one of our guys, consisting of a foot long wurst sausage smothered in Ketchup and curry powder. It is sure to add an extra dimension to the next ten hours of driving.
Marcus who has driven almost all of the miles so far has relinquished his throne and Graeme has volunteered to take over duties.
Macca is now part of the back seat gang and is hoping to get some shut-eye.
Hmmm.....

It's not easy being cheesey.



4pm.
For Messy read Sleepy. Everyone crashes out in a hotel room from exhaustion.
8pm
Out in Prague. It is freezing cold and no-one has got a real coat so the
sensible thing to do is to find a warm bar and have some drinks.
8.01pm

Decide to dine al Fresco. Pick a table the furthest point away from the
outdoor heaters in the belief that the ice cold lagers will keep us warm.
10pm

Some of us are actually turning blue and so, after hearing rumours of a bar
where all the beers are one euro we head off on an expedition into the heart of
Prague. We are in Civvies tonight after deciding that the smell of the Scooby Doo costumes would not mix too well with the fact we have now all had a shower (for some the first of the trip). 10.2pm
The Euro bar eludes us so we hurry into the nearest pub - hypothermia setting in.
12.15pm
The last two days of sleep deprivation and heavy drinking are taking their toll
and, with the prospect of a 12 hour journey tomorrow to our final destination
Amsterdam, a collective decision is taken to retire early (ish).
3.30am
Scooby wonders why he still decided to sleep in the cold van despite the fact there was a spare bed in the hotel just feet from where the van is parked.
DAY FOUR
7am
Another early start as we set off on the last leg. We have travelled 1,700 miles so far and, apart from regularly checking the leaking radiator, the van is performing remarkably. 565 miles to go.We are all looking forward to seeing the look on the Amsterdam stoners faces when real life cartoon characters descend on the Red Light District.
This is the first morning when the van crew has not woken up with murderous hangovers hence the coherent and lengthy blog which actually recalls events as they really happened.

Saturday 5 April 2008

The back seat


3PM THIS IS BECOMING A NIGHTMARE - THEY (SHAGGY & SCOOBY) HAVE GENERATED AN ATMOSPHERE OF SUCH FEAR AND SUSPICION IN THE BACK OF THE VAN THAT NO ONE (VELMA) FEELS SAFE TO BLINK IN CASE IT IS SEEN AS DRIFTING INTO SLEEP, A CRIME THAT SEEMS TO BE PUNISHABLE BY A BANANA SKIN, A PIECE OF CORNED BEEF OR A TOENAIL ON THE FACE.
g-MAN

3.30pm Arrived in Prague too early for our own safety. This, I fear, is going to be messy. Good luck to all.......

Deutschland Uber Alles?


8.30pm 1310 miles and we made Munich. Water levels and temperature consistent with an engine that has only a little life to give. Map reading a breeze compared with Paris and a hotel with car park is secured. We are all happy bunnys.

9pm Many people say that the Germans have a bad sense of humour. We can categorically state that is not true. Germans have NO sense of humour at all.Our five piece Scooby combo is met by mere indifference by the sour faced residents of Munchen. The bar we meet in has an atmosphere similar to a wake of a detested aunt. We eat, shoot the breeze and make an executive decision to go somewhere else.

11.45pm Irish Bar. We walk in straight to bar in convoy. Cowboys, Ninjas, Scooby Doo and a monkey. Who said Jagermeister was a nasty proposition. The bar is jumping within seconds and Germany suddenly becomes an attractive proposition.

5am The last two members of our crew roll in. Scooby Doo sneaks into the hotel car park for another night in the van. The others have forked out for rooms. The days of 'dirty riding' rely on one crew member, and he is cracking as the 'wet wipe shower' is really not as good as it sounds.

DAY THREE Munich to Prague 230 miles to go

8.30am With hangovers that are yet to kick in we meet up in a car park outside of Munich with other Coyote members before heading to Prague. Is drinking Carling at this time healthy?
Grand National Day and we have absolutely no idea of the runners. Tips welcome.
Graeme is asleep again. Is today the day we get him? Burp Wars and Toenail Wars considered in the back seats but rejected due to fear of escalated retaliation.